BUT, Imagine this:
There are two people who were in a relationship together and now are not. These two people have argued lots and now every single time they speak (other than pointless 'hello' conversations) they argue..
I am in this situation, I don't know how to say "I understand" whilst trying to have my point understood at the same time. My point is completely disregarded as soon as I start.
There is nothing more frustrating than being talked over.
Here is a fictional example of the brick wall I am constantly running in to whilst being pelted with high speed stones...
The two characters will be named Hugo and Beth (For no particular reason other than I like the names).
Hugo - We are at a fork in the road Beth, I would like to go right. Which way would you like to go?
Beth - I'd like to go left (getting annoyed at the immediate difference of opinion)
Hugo - OK (Deciding to let Beth decide so there would be no conflict), I'll let you decide...
Beth - I don't want to have to make the decision (she may be fibbing)
- Both parties sit in silence -
Hugo - Come on, make a decision now, I hate waiting
Beth - OH MY GOD!!! (raised voice), I DON'T KNOW YOU DECIDE!!!
- Trying to make the best decision for both Hugo takes the left fork but swerves violently to the right every now and again to ease the burning pain from having to make the (what he considers), wrong decision.
- Later that evening Hugo and Beth sit down for dinner and start talking about the day. This is where they run into problems. Hugo would like Beth to understand he had made that decision for her. Although he didn't like it and it caused violent swerving, he had really tried. He now doubts how much Beth respects his decisions/opinions...she didn't make the effort to accept his way so he had to take hers..Her way or nothing.
- When Hugo brings this up, Beth can only focus on the fact that her way meant this and his way meant that. She cannot understand that Hugo isn't trying to talk about which way they should go but about why they should have talked and found a middle ground, rather than having one person annoyed.
Beth cannot understand this and evidently never will so Hugo stands up, pulls out a gun and shoots her in the face, then jumps around wailing "Beth is dead, I shot her in the head".
OK, it didn't end like that but my God I felt like it....
JOKE - DON'T REPORT ME LIKE THAT POOR TWITTER GUY WHO COMPLAINED ABOUT THE AIRPORT HE WAS STUCK IN AND WAS ARRESTED!
(I wonder how many followers he has now??)
ANYWAY
This is the problem I am facing...pig headedness is what I am battling.
I have just re-read this post and it makes absolutely no sense, you are probably reading this thinking "I can see what you're saying (call a doctor), I think you have some valid points (get a straight jacket).
I'm sure we have all felt like this in some way before but it's SO much harder to get past these things. I am so much wiser in my past and the future...I am great at giving advice but don't care for it myself.
Randomly - I occasionally make the typo 'myslef' instead of 'myself' - This randomly lets my mind drift and imagine a picture of gollum from Lord of the rings...I don't know why..
So, have you felt like this? What did you do about it? I'm not sure I want you to answer, I do think you should remember what you did about it and then concrete it as 'the right way' in your brain....You can let me know if you're really keen.
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